Happiness is...

forgiveness

• asking for it

• receiving it
• giving it
• learning how to forgive myself

{My newest read.}


Other tidbits that make me happy:

While enjoying my morning cuddles with Porter boy Sibling wiggled more than ever making me think he or she is ready to join morning cuddle time. I'm so excited for more frequent baby wiggles, it makes the whole thing more real for me.

Daddy Story Time.

This picture makes me happy. We got soaked at the USU football game and we had just made it back to our car in this picture. Don't you love the Aggie t-shirt? Thanks uncle Couper!

Big bites from Daddy's double bacon cheese burger. Honestly, what 1 year old does this? Too funny

"Nnooo"

I forgot to document this last night so I need to take care of that quickly.

Last night I was trying to get dinner ready, Aaron was using the last ten minutes of daylight to try to winterize the sprinkler system, Porter was in his high chair and hungry. I was trying to hold him over with Cherrios and he had just finished his last hand full. I started to get more for him and I could tell he wasn't very pleased so I started to act really excited, "Yay Cherrios!" As I put the next bunch on his tray he pointed at them and said, "Nnooo!" I just started giggling, what a clever boy! We've really enjoyed him only responding "Yeah" to our questions, but I guess he had to eventually figure out how useful "No" is.

Halloween Carnival

We went to Porter's early intervention carnival tonight! There were games and treats EVERYWHERE! Our little guy got over-stimulated pretty quickly, but here are a few things we were able to do before he became too overwhelmed. {Ring toss}

{This was by far his favorite. Sorry he's blurry he was bouncing.}

{P's recipe for witches brew, bite a monster's hand off.}

They had rootbeer and donuts. We decided to let P try the rootbeer, his first taste of carbonation (that we know of... grandma?). I turned around to witness Aaron giving Porter his first sip, he tasted it and said, "YEAH!!!" He's a fan. That doesn't mean he's allowed!

*Just a reminder to grandparents, aunt and uncles only on occasion where Mom and Dad say it's okay.*

Happiness is...

found during fall!

Fall is my favorite season for these reasons: the colors, the weather, the clothing, Thanksgiving, I'm not a big fan of Halloween but it's growing on me now that we have P to dress up. Did I mention the weather? I love the feeling of fall in my lungs!!! Here's some proof that we're taking full advantage of the season.

{Waiting for Dad to get to the pumpkin patch. P waved to everyone having such a friendly child can be a little awkward for mommy.}

{Let the hunt begin.}

{Over there Mom!}

{Photo Op}

{Success and a ride in the wheelbarrow.}

{These 2 had never been to a corn maze!}

{I had a rough morning, please, ignore my appearance. But it's rare we get a photo of all 3 of us, so it made the cut. Thanks Emily!}

{What is this stuff?}

{Porter giggled and giggled-- We had a great time!}

{Aaron felt that we needed a treat so we went for frozen yogurt. P loved it he enjoyed being a big boy and sitting in his own chair.}

P-A-R-T-YYYYY?

BECAUSE I'VE GOTTA!!!!

That's what I read on the Birthday girls Facebook status before we decided to crash her birthday party! ;) I'm so glad Mandy was happy to see us! Happy 19th sweet girl, we love you!

We had an amazing time together bowling, eating, playing laser tag, and arcade games! Pictures for your enjoyment.

{Porter became famous for the Mowgli crawl. It's so blurry because he's FAST!}

{Steadman was singing to Porter, so cute!}


The most fun we had was letting P bowl all by himself using the ramp guide! He completely understood what to do. He'd even kiss the ball for good luck!

{1st Push Ball}

{Cheer as you watch it go!}

{Point in the direction you'd like your bowling ball to go!}

Porter got his first STRIKE! The kid has got skills I tell you!

{Playing Race Car Driving with Daddy! He actually took the wheel the second time they played.}

{He sort of got this game.}

Aaron was like the terminator playing laser tag. Every time I turned around he was killing me again and I wasn't the only person with that complaint. He beat us all. We had so much fun! It was a fantastic party! I also have to thank Porter for being such a good sport about staying up WAY past bedtime!

Happiness is...

{#2- 12+week bump}

...knowing you've got support.


I've felt lots of support this week and it's a nice feeling. Let me give some shout outs!

• Aaron is always my greatest support, thanks babe!
  
• All of you, thanks for all the loving comments celebrating our baby joy!
• My extended family on my Mom's side. We've got something amazing going. My cousins have always been more like siblings. My aunts and uncles often play/played the Mom or Dad role for me when my parents weren't able. Not to mention my truly wonderful Grandparents. We're so lucky to have each other!
• Friends & Neighbors-- I love walking a few houses down to visit for a minute and it turns into an hour.
• The gospel and our Savior Jesus Christ!

{I know I need Him and I'm so grateful to know He loves me.}

"You're Getting Fat" (An Announcement)

That's what my 2nd graders would say to me when I was expecting Porter. I actually loved it when they'd say that to me. I'm getting bigger these days since we're expecting our second baby!

{For now this is what we refer to #2 as "Sibling".}
{{P.S. Sibling's hand is up by his/her face - that's not a nose. Aaron enjoys laughing about such things, though.}}

If things go according to schedule the baby will be born on his/her Aunt Karli's birthday, the 27th of April. But we all know things never actually go according to "schedule".

This blog serves as our family journal and because of that I'll be documenting some things in this post. It may not be interesting to you but it's important for us to remember these things down the road.

I've mentioned a few times starting in January of this year that Aaron and I were thinking about having another baby. If you feel so inclined, you can read about it HERE & HERE. After lots of prayer we decided to put our trust in God's hands and timing. If anyone knows when things should happen it's Him! After that move, I quickly realized that the idea of having another child frightened me greatly but peace would always return when I would turn to the Lord, especially after what we believe was an early pregnancy loss brought on by an anxiety attack in July. As a note: It wasn't an anxiety attack about having another kid, just something that got blown up. It was such an early loss we didn't struggle with this much. It was weird to come to the realization that I had been pregnant, but we felt very peaceful. Our feelings were that we had turned the matter of baby #2 over to God and we weren't going to falter now. With that I had resolved myself to theses ideas: maybe I'm not healthy enough to have a baby yet; perhaps this will take some time; maybe we were wrong, maybe we aren't suppose to have a baby right now. I was okay with all of this and actually a little excited for the extra time as 3. Then a few weeks down the road I was feeling very pregnant and asked Aaron if he thought we should test. I had looked at my calendar and thought it was a little early to test, but couldn't shake the sick feeling. We decided to ask Porter what he thought and he was very much in support of the idea! Honestly, he gave us a very cute and reassuring "YES test!". I don't know what it is about my husband always needing to know the results before for me, but he came and took the test from me while I was waiting. Before I could finished protesting for him to return it, a positive result came up and he was jumping up and down with a big smile across his face. I was so excited but was in a bit of shock after convincing myself that we were in for a long wait, it was and still is sooo surreal! We just kept saying to each other, "We're going to have another baby!" After things settled down a bit I decided to look up my due date only to find out I'm a bad counter and was already 5 weeks along... no wonder I felt so sick!

This pregnancy has been very different for me than the first. The first I was anticipating with great expectations, this time I was trusting God and going with the flow. I'm not the best at going with the flow without having some questions. The whole first part of this pregnancy I had overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and fear. However, when I'm at church, studying my scriptures, or at peace the calm confirming feeling returns that this is right, this is exactly what God wants for our family, that He'll help me through it, and that this addition will make all of us very happy. While I'm sure my feelings of turmoil will not entirely disappear until I cradle this little one in my arms, I know this is God's will for us.

If Aaron is nervous he's shown no signs of it to me. This man accepts things quickly taking them on with love and diligence. He's been so good to me, I'm definitely complaining more this pregnancy because I don't feel good. I've tried hard to stop; I don't know how my efforts have been, but he's kind about reminding me that I promised to try hard not to complain because it's a gift. Some of the things Aaron has change to help me out is that he takes care of Porter when he wakes up at 6:30 in the morning when I'm normally in the bathroom indisposed, changes the stinky diapers whenever he's around, then after work he does the dishes for me if I couldn't stomach them that day. Seriously, he's my HERO!!!

Here are the details my mother-in-law would ask about:

• Has my morning sickness been different? (trying to predict boy or girl) Yes, it's been much more persistent. I was sick every morning with Porter but it usually passed by the time my 2nd graders came to class at 9. I'm very sick in the mornings with this pregnancy, feel yucky all day long, and get really sick again in the evenings.
• You're not still nursing Porter are you? Yes- I did/was. I nursed Porter the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy. He wasn't ready to stop and his needs will always be important. We researched it just to be sure, but nursing while preggers isn't dangerous to either baby. However, it can be a little hazardous to Mom. The body is an amazing thing, there is a hierarchy - fetus, baby, then Mom - and the babies will steal whatever they need. Lucky for us Porter started accepting his sippy cup with lots of our support, so he can get the fluids he needs, and he no longer needs to nurse. Nursing caused early contractions and unfortunately they've decreased with the change, but they've haven't gone away completely . Bummer.
  
• What's the baby's heart rate? 1st time- 168 2nd time- 169
  
• Do you have any feelings about it being a boy or a girl? I had several dreams about having twin girls that we affectionately refereed to as Baby A & Baby Z because of the girl names we like. However, I think these were a product of my fear of twins and girls. We had our first ultrasound on Monday and we're only having 1 baby! PHEW! I had a dream about a little blonde boy that we couldn't decide on a name for; he was very cute and chubby. Despite the difference in my sickness I generally feel that it's a boy. Aaron thinks it's a girl. Do either of us have great confidence in our guesses...NO!
• Cravings? Sweet and Sour-- Sweetarts are a must these days, pickles, chocolate mouse, Pizza Hut. But most of the time I'm just dealing with food aversion and nothing sounding good. I eat tofu like 3 times a day and with Porter demanding I share, we go through the stuff like crazy.
  
• Other differences? I'm super fatigued, I'm growing & showing way faster than last time, and I've been feeling this little one wiggle already.
• Cold feet? I don't get this one, but yep my feet are always cold. The rest of me is overheating but my footsies are freezing.
  

I also just wanted to share the ordeal it's been having a child after giving birth to a baby with Down Syndrome. At my first appointment we had to firmly state that we would not be doing any invasive genetic testing, that even if the results showed the baby had Down Syndrome we would not be terminating the pregnancy. I know it's their job and it's their legal responsibility to make sure I understand it's legal for me to terminate such a pregnancy but I was ready to strangle something if I heard the word "TERMINATE" one more time in reference to any of my children! We're in the process of having an integrated screening done, a combo test of an ultrasound and 2 blood draws that's 90% accurate. Even at the appointment the genetic counselor was pushing us to have an amnio done. We'll finish the process with this pregnancy, but we both agree... we're not doing this again. It doesn't change a dang thing for us! The only reason we went through with this test was so we could be prepared for any health concerns but honestly big things should show up on an ultrasound. I'm just very frustrated with the push to abort pregnancies.

{We celebrated our news over a cup of juice -- we didn't have any sparkling cider.}

{Aaron brought me home some congratulatory flowers}

{They blossomed beautifully and I was able to enjoy them for a good 2 weeks.}

We're excited to watch as this pregnancy blossoms and we welcome Sibling into our family in 6 short months!

Happiness is...

1. little hands clapping to the beat in the back seat
   
2. two warm safe arms to crawl into after bad dreams
3. anticipation
4. family laughter (cloudy with a chance of meatballs made us all giggle)
5. finding forgotten photos

*I found like 8 folders so only a few of my favorite are shared. I'll have to find a way to share the others later.

{He's so cool}

{I loved how he'd slowly take them off}

{"Don't forget ME!"}

{P's last swim before tubes, no more going under. :( }

{This, I just love...hehe! While cleaning out the basement Aaron found a childhood favorite, his authentic Reds coat. "Just like what the players have." He told me. Then an even bigger surprise... he fits into it again. He was 12 when he got this!}

Porter Walked!!! & I need your help

{Get in the water to make a grumpy Porter happy!}

Friday I was babysitting my friend's 2 year old, Miley, and she was playing very well with Porter. She had him pull to stand to look out the window with her and she walked about 6 feet away from him. Porter let go, turned towards her and took 4 steps, stopped, balanced himself perfectly, then finished walking to her. I was in total awe! I didn't want to over-celebrate because that scares him. I just silently contained my excitement.

Now just because he walked doesn't mean he's walking. This confirms what my Mommy intuition has been telling me -- we're not dealing with a skills problem, it's a complex about walking. He can do it, he just chooses not to. I think I'll be having Miley come play more. ;)

I have a question for you DS mommas: Let me give you a little background: 8 months ago I started buying Porter 12-month old size clothes for winter; they were a little long but fit for the most part. We're headed back into winter and now the length fits him great, but these same clothes are falling off his skinny bones. We spent last weekend with my family and they assured me he's getting taller, but another individual made a comment about his size that peeved me. 4 months ago Porter weighed 19 lbs, now he's 17lbs and continuing to lose. Leading me to ask, Should I be worried? Am I doing something wrong? Do I need to add a nutritionist to our list of specialists? I've brought this up with one of Porter's doctors and he had us complete a thyroid test that his other doctor neglected to complete at Porter's 1 year check up, grr.... We're still waiting on results, but the doctor told us an abnormality is unlikely. Porter is not a picky eater, he eats pretty much anything, especially since his molars have come in and he doesn't struggle with his gag reflex so much. I've started tracking his Calorie intake, but I don't even know what I should be shooting for. Any insight, information, and comfort would be greatly appreciated!

{Conference Morning Cuddles}

Truth be told-- I love having a petite toddler! It's easier on my back, he still fits so well in my arms, that and I love P just the way he is no matter what, forever and always!

Happiness is...

beating the odds!

{Sharp Porter}

October is National Down Syndrome Awareness month and as I thought about that this morning I was overwhelmed with how grateful I am for the odds we overcame to have Porter join our family. For starters, we had a 1 in 2,200 chance of having a child with Down Syndrome. Having an extra chromosome is tricky business; if the chromosome is too large or too small or in the wrong place survival is impossible. The last stat that comes to mind and devastates me is 90% of woman who are given a Down Syndrome diagnosis choose to abort. Aaron and I often talk about how sad it would be if Porter had never been given a chance because he is so full of life, love, and possibilities!{Sad Porter}

On a happier note, I wanted to share something that I think is amazing, it makes me cry every time I visit! Don't worry it's a happy cry. Click HERE. These kids were born with special needs in countries where they are never given a chance. They've been rescued, given love and a new life. This is one of my favorite posts that illustrates the difference from life in an orphanage to life with a family. Click HERE {Silly Porter}

If you're interested in following along with a family that's currently going through the adoption process for one of these angels, my friend is in eastern Europe trying to bring their baby girl home. You can follow along HERE.

To sum it up Happiness is Faith that life for people with Down Syndrome will only continue to get better; that more incredible children will be given the chance to shine and be loved!