*Cough, Cough*

Sunday we attended my Grandparents' farewell.  I'm so excited and proud of them!  This is their first mission and they found a perfect match for their skills.  They'll be teaching gardening on a Native American Reservation.  While part of me wishes they'd be home to help me through my first attempt at my own garden this season, I'll just have to consult them via email.  Really, that's a selfish thing to say because Grandpa taught my Mom well and she's always available to help me.  They gave uplifting and inspiring talks that left me with an overwhelming gratitude for the lives they have lived and the blessings they have been in my life.  I'm so grateful for them!  They offered my little family a very generous gift before leaving that brought me to my knees and uncontrollable crying.  I must have made quite the scene because I got several messages from other family members checking up on me that evening.  There are really no words that I can write that accurately expresses how touched I am and just amazed at their love and generosity.  I'm so glad Senior missions aren't as strict so we can keep in touch and I know Grandma will read this soon.  Love you both!  I hope it's going well!

Sunday I wasn't feeling great but didn't think much of it, but figured I better go to the doctor Monday just to be sure and keep my family healthy if possible.  Bronchitis for Meg :(  Major Bummer!  The doctor told me to stay away from everyone.  Then he asked what my employment was, to which I replied, "I raise two very small children. That's what I do."  He told me to stay away from them.  Well, all my fellow momma's know that just doesn't work.  Thus, the mask.   That combined with Lysol twice a day has done their jobs and the family is still well.  P's little system would have a hard time with bronchitis so please keep him and Priya in your prayers. 

Aaron has been working from home to try and help me rest.  I'm so grateful for his help.  I know it's really hard for him to be away from work right now because of deadlines he has to meet.

No blog post is complete with out some pictures of the kids, but I'm afraid I don't have a stellar collection at the moment.  I haven't had the energy to chase them for pictures, so this is what I can offer.  They still make me smile.

This would be darling if only her eyes were open.

Priya is trying really hard to learn how to walk.  We were encouraging her to take a step today, but she'd just start dancing instead.  It's hard to not be distracted by that.  She's such a sweetie these days.  I enjoy her so much!

This is Porter playing with Grandpa Randy. 

Porter successfully counted to 3 today!  YAY!!!  We were working with some flashcards and marshmallows.  I so wish I would have taken a picture of it so I could share how we're incorporating number sense and fine motor as he learns to count.  I was so excited I asked him to do it again for me, but he got frustrated.  Not because of the counting, but the fine motor is really difficult for him.  Still it was AWESOME to hear him count...1,2,3 without being prompted by me and with the correct representation of the number in front of him.  Again, YAY!  Tomorrow is P's first school picture day.  I can't wait to see how awful they are. :)  Aunt Rach is really the only one who gets good photos of him. 

Splish Splash

I'm so grateful for an adventurous husband.  He got us all out today and we went swimming.  I'm not a big fan of public pools or crowds so as we arrived today I had to keep reminding myself that my children were going to have a great time.  All said & done I had as much fun as the kids and wasn't overly annoyed with the crowds.  It was Priya's first experience in a swimming pool and she really enjoyed herself.  Porter had a crazy good time going down the slide over and over screaming in pure delight every time.  Priya is fearless like always.  She was following Porter's lead quickly and only after watching a few times was jumping in on the count of 3.  She loved playing in all the different fountains.  I really loved that we got to finally see her in the darling $3 clearance swim suit I bought her this winter.  It was a great way to spend the Saturday together.  Porter had a really hard time leaving.  He didn't throw a fit, but there were crocodile tears as we walked out.  Aaron's response to that, "I guess that means we need to come more often."  I have to agree.

This is right as we put her in.  Don't you love those lips pressed into a perfectly shaped O?!

"Wow"s and "Yay"s were in abundance.

We didn't get any pics of P at the pool but here's the proof that he swam hard.  We had just brought him in from the car.  I think he'll sleep well tonight.

This silly little lip whistle is Priya's new favorite toy.  Makes me laugh out loud every time.

Speaking of things that have created a splash in my life, let's talk about Downton Abbey...  A few weeks ago I got a phone call from my sister saying, "I found this show and I think you're going to like it.  It's called Downton Abbey."  She warned me about some content in the first episode that she thought might deter my interest, but encouraged me to watch anyways because it was brief.  Well I don't have free time often and didn't take her advise until one afternoon I had a mountain of laundry to fold.  So I found it on Netflix. Um.. yeah...  it's not often I get OBSESSED over something but that's where I'm at.  Just ask Aaron.  I finished season 1 a few days ago and started season 2 online on the PBS website.  Aaron made a teasing comment at me this morning about it and I kindly reminded him that I do this once in a blue moon and that it's one of the things that he loves about me.  He just smiled because it's true; I don't do it often but sometimes I find something so great I can't stop.  I'm so bummed that I have to do homework tonight instead of watch, but alas I've procrastinated as long as possible.  Hopefully, I'm not the only one with this addiction.  As a disclaimer I've been really busy this last week and it's only been the last 48 hours that I've been sneaking off to get a fix.  I did take 4 hours to go swimming with the fam so I'm not completely off the deep end. :) 

Weekend Report

This last weekend we got to visit Aaron's Grandparent's in St. George.  We were lucky enough to be there the same time as Aaron's Parents, Rachael & Tyler, and Devanee and Micah (although, I never saw him once).  We packed the camera but forgot to get it out so I just want to take a second and write down the highlights.

• traveling both ways without having to stop.  That doesn't mean there wasn't whining, crying and complaining from our kids.  It just means they did much better than last time and we didn't have to stop for them.  We also traveled late in hopes that they'd sleep most the way and they did.
• Grandma was so sweet and stayed up until 11p.m. to greet us! 
• We joined Grandpa Don on his morning hike and Porter walked most of the way. 
• The weather was so nice.  Like early spring up here.  Lots of sunshine, cool breezes and warmth from the sun. 
• We took advantage of the great weather Saturday and explored one of the local run, walk, bike trails.  Aaron left wanting to live down there again because of the weather and the amazing running trails.  I enjoyed walking with my Sister-In-Laws and chatting up a storm.  P enjoyed his stroller ride.  My little family all left with a little smooch from the sun after that morning.  I'm not complaining.
• We went to Texas Road House for the biggest birthday dinner I've ever been too.  Our kid's ate their weight in sweet potato,  corn and pulled pork.  They both were very well behaved.  Thanks to Shelly for reminding me as much.
• On Sunday we attended the blessing of Aaron's cousin Lisa's baby, Carter.  It was a beautiful blessing and he is a darling little baby boy.  I'm always grateful that when Aaron gets the look and wave to join a circle that he can.  
• We celebrated Carter's blessing with all of his Family, which was a large group.  Carter's Grandparents graciously feed us all.  I looked around at their family and all the wonderful people in the room.  I watched Aaron's cousin's families who's children are just a little older than ours and I realized how quickly our children will group up on us.  It's hard for me to imagine them being anything other than my babies.  It will be an adventure for sure. 
• Every time I turned around Aaron's family was trying to teach Priya how to walk.  Making me realize I should probably put some effort into helping her learn.  That or take her to visit them more often. 
• It was a nice relaxing trip and always nice to see his Grandparents.

We had such a great weekend and enjoyed the company so much!  Hope you had a great weekend too!

What Doesn't Kill Ya

 The last few days I have felt lucky to just show up on time to the destination/appointment/meeting/activity written in my planner.  My sweet kids have been pretty patient with all the riding in the car and eating on the go.  Yesterday we were lucky enough to be home during the day.  I laid in bed listening to my children stirring knowing they'd wake soon so I went through my list of desires for the day.  Laundry, decorating projects, 72 hour kits, budget review, ect, ect.  I decided on a few of those and then got myself up and ready to greet my children for the morning.  As soon as they were up I knew my list just wasn't going to cut it so we made soap foam instead.  It was a lot of fun for Porter and even though she hated it being exposed to different textures is good for Priya Lynn.

Dish soap, a touch of water, and the food processor are all you need.

Little Miss was right in the middle of the action.

I hadn't even finished transferring the foam to the bowl and his hands were in it.

We move to a better location and I made Priya try it. She hated it.

He was painting the side of the tub.

She found a safe place to watch from.

When you make a mess with soap you get one big bubble bath to clean it up with.  She didn't even like that part.  So I just rinsed her off and pulled her out.

Porter loved it though. I pulled out a sponge and cleaned the tub while we were at it.  The soap was a little hard on P's sensitive skin but I just leathered him in Aquafur (sp?) and he was good.

On my way home from Preschool today I was panicking.  I have way more that I feel MUST be done in the next 24 hours than can be done.  I turned up the tunes and calmed down a little.  While I would like to get all these things done, it's just not going to happen.  This song came on and I really like the chorus.  Yeah I haven't lost my guy he's standing by my side strong as ever but we all lose things in life and we hope to come out a little stronger from it.  Anyways, it changed my attitude so I thought I'd share.  It only took Kelly 9 years since winning Idol to come out with something I actually like.
 If you want more info on soap foam click here. p.s. if you're wondering why I'm posting if I have way too much to do it's because I'm working on a YW project that has had significant wait time.

We LOVE Daddy

I got a message from Aaron this morning asking me to take pictures of Valentines for him.  I've been thinking all day that I'd like to get them up for him so he can see them before he comes home.  Well with school and a play date (Thank Jeana!)  he may not see them before he gets home, but it's still fun to share!  A fair warning since I took these to document the morning for Aaron there are a lot of pictures. 

First, since I don't want to write a separate blog post for it, let's start with last night's FHE.  THE RETURN OF PETER PAN!

He kept saying, "Hat, Hat".

Arg!  love her girl bandanna

Baby Girl was as excited as the rest of us!

I was more excited than anyone.

The movie was great and so was the company!

 We were lucky enough to have Nate, Kristen, Braxton, Heidi, Oliver and Addison join us for dinner and the movie last night.  My favorite moment of the night was when we had all 4 kids dancing to one of the many songs in the movie.  It's so much fun to spend time with families that are in the same phase of life as us!  That and being surrounded by good people makes me happy!

 

 Porter sat and watched most of the movie, he was very interested. 

 After everyone left we put the kids to bed and went to work decorating for today, Valentine's Day.  In all honesty, Aaron decorated while I cut out hearts for a YW heart attack outing with the presidency ladies.  Thanks Aaron!

 The kid's LOVE gifts!

 

 After giggling, running away and freezing my butt off taping hearts to doors.  I got to work on Porter Valentines for class today.  Something from my years as a teacher makes it hard for me to give candy so instead P gave kaleidoscopes.  I wanted to have the valentines read something like, "I've been scoping you out, Valentine."  or "I've had my eye on you, Valentine."  Aaron felt they were both to stalkerish.  So simple it was.

  

Finished product

 

I took a Easter basket and tried to disguise it as a valentines basket with stickers. 

Valentine's Morning!

 

 

Priya was up first and I didn't think she'd be interested in the decor, my bad!  I turned around and she was crawling heart to heart until she could reach one and I was rushing for the camera.  

I video taped getting P out of bed and walking down the hall so you'll just have to watch that at home Aaron.  As soon as he saw his sister at the bottom of the stairs he rushed to say good morning.  It did my heart well to see him treat her so kindly on LOVE day.

"Hey, sis!  How's the bottle?"

 

Once he greeted his sister he had to take a closer look.

Where did they come from Mom?

I heard him say, "Heart" for the first time.

  

Then he had to tell me all about it.

He was a happy boy!

P's LOVE gift.  "Get it out?!"  He asked.

this isn't a great picture, but I loved that he held it up to show me.

Priya's LOVE gift.  I think she likes it, don't you?

JOY

Gratitude, "Is it really for me?!"

There you have it honey!  You really made their morning special, thank you!  

I just want to share how much I appreciate Aaron.  This next part will sound spoiled and selfish, because it is.  When Aaron was training for his marathon last year I felt that it was a one sided thing.  Meaning, I felt like he got to have a hobby and free time at my expense.  *ugh... listen to me*  Well Aaron is training again, but I don't feel that way at all!  If anything he's having to give more time to me because I have so much going on right now.  He never complains, unless my schedule interferes with running that is.  :)  He sustains me in my calling and it's a time consuming one, he lets me sing with a great group of women once a week, he lets me escape to the basement to work on homework, he is currently supporting me in a new hobby (it will remain secret for now in case I fail, best not share yet) and has let me spend 8 hours on a Saturday working in a kitchen with great friends for our Freezer Meal Co-Op.  He's a great guy and I really often feel I've asked too much of him.  He reminds me that it makes us both better parents to have things that give our lives balance and I love that he's like that!  You add into the equation that he's my best friend, that he makes me laugh, leads our family in faith, is a fantastic father, my eternal companion (I could go on but I'll spare you) and I'm one immensely happy girl! 

I love you Aaron!  Thanks for proposing and creating this wonderful life with me!  I'm glad it's you I get to share it with!  ~Megs

 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

I hope you're feeling the LOVE

11:43 p.m.

What am I doing up so late?  Getting a little too invested in my young womens handout for tomorrows lesson.  I love this quote and this lesson prep has been very good for me.

P's Big Test Day

Yesterday was the day I've been sick to my stomach over for a long time now.  Preschool testing...(inhale, exhale slowly).  A big day that sets the tone for the rest of P's schooling...sorta being dramatic there... but it's important nonetheless.

Let me tell you about Mr. Sly here...

I have not posted an update post on Porter for 10 months now because I'm afraid someone will think me arrogant, others ungrateful, and maybe even a failure.  At least that's what my silly over-thinking brain tells me.  However, with yesterday coming and going it's time to do a Porter update complex as it may be to read.

Porter has continued to make progress and growth throughout this year, I just haven't documented it as much.  We continue to see bursts of success coupled with stalls and delays in different areas.  These change all the time.  For example yesterday during Porter's testing he was in a non-compliant mood,  making testing frustrating and disappointing to Aaron, me, and Porter's service providers.  Despite his orneriness we were able to push him through and he did demonstrate some of his skills. Here's what I can think of at the moment:

• Words: P continues to flourish in speech, in our eyes.  Is Porter on the level one of his typical peers would be.? ..no..  We still feel he's doing amazing.  He uses more words than we can count and we are beginning to hear 3 word phrases.  Here's the frustrating thing, we are primarily the only people who can understand him.  I was at school the other day just observing P during snack time.  A classroom aide, with only the best of intentions, asked Porter to say, "Drink".  He said it, but she didn't understand him.  She asked again, he repeated it again and added the sign.  He was so frustrated and I felt so sorry for him.  Articulation will be a major focus.  But words, even if only we can understand him, seems huge to me. 

• Gross motor: P's great on his feet.  He runs.  He can go up and down stairs with a handrail.  He tries so hard to jump, getting one foot up in the air, so stinking cute!  As I'm sure you've gathered from my other posts, he wrestles with other little boys his size and LOVES it!  He can kick a soccer ball.  He can climb to the top of the play land at Chick-fil-a and then refuses to come down (he is physically able, he just knows that if he comes down we might make him leave).  There are of course more skills that need to come, but I don't worry about Gross Motor much these days.  Which may bite me in the butt.

• Friends: according to his teacher Porter treats everyone like a life long friend.  He gets lots of attention because of this.  Today on our way home from school I looked back to find him waving and chatting with the man in the Subaru next to us at the light.  Happens all the time.  It makes me feel uncomfortable when I then have to interact with a total stranger through car windows. 

• Pretend:  Porter likes to pretend to do all the grown up things he sees Mommy and Daddy do.  My current favorites are feeding Priya and teaching her his flashcards. Makes me smile every time. 

Art time- yogurt paint

finished masterpiece

• Cognitive: Porter can match colors and shapes.  He's beginning to count 1-2-3-4.   The concept isn't concrete yet, often everything is "two", but he says it the right number of times when looking at a visual representation of a number.  Stacking is a sinch.  Intricate beading and threading is still frustrating for him.  I feel so blessed to have a child who loves nothing more than reading a book.  He has a shorter attention span than a typical peer, but not when it comes to reading books.  He'll read nonstop if you'll continue with him.  The #1 question we hear all day long is, "What is it!?"  Even if he knows the answer, he still asks.  Such a cop out.  I love to answer him though.  He'll answer yes or no to a direct question.  He loves nursery rhyme games like wheels on the bus and ring around the rosies.
• Self-Help: He can put on his pants and shoes (most of the way).  He's very close to learning how to put on his shirt, getting it over his head is tricky with short arms. :)  He can feed himself with utensils without spilling, if he hasn't decided to make a mess that is.  He can drink from an open cup with very little spilling.  He scored very poorly in this area, however, for not being potty trained.  That's my fault.  I'm almost ready.  I'm currently reading a book all about training boys and it's such a comfort because I had myself all twisted up thinking I'd missed our chance when in reality he's in the optimal window for a little boy.  Their muscles can take longer to develop for controling pee-pee.  This book also recommends training sessions, so it's not all at once which I think P will take really well to.  We've also been watching Potty Time to learn signs to help with communicating.  I'll let you know how it goes. I'm SO scared!

He also drinks the milk from his cereal bowl.

• Motivation:  Porter isn't as motivated as he used to be to just please us.  We have to hide tasks in play and lay the praise on thick to get him to work.  But he's always willing to give something a try.  It's the repetition that has been a challenge lately.  Also just because I say P can do something doesn't mean he does it all the time.  No, he's very stubborn like that.  We try not to let him get away with it but sometimes we're rushed and we just need to move so we do it for him. 

After the test was finished we looked the scores and I was a little disappointed.  They were low.  They were broken into percentiles, his lowest percentile being 5, his highest 39, the majority of his scores being around 25.  His teacher then explained that typical development is considered 16-84% -- HUGE range.  All children develop at their own rate and time, special needs or not.  If Porter didn't have Down Syndrome he would not quality for services because his scores would average out into the typical developing range.  He's doing fantastic in my opinion.

Since it inevitably follows that I'll be asked, "Does Porter really have Down Syndrome?  Does Porter have Mosaic Down Syndrome?" here's a picture of Porter's DNA and his extra chromosome.

 

As far as we know Porter does not have Mosaic Down Syndrome.  Every cell they tested had trisomy 21 and I don't really care to have a bigger sample tested done only to change his label.  Porter will develop how he develops whether he has Down Syndrome or Mosaic Down Syndrome.  My care and concern for him would change in no way if we had the test done.  We know that Down Syndrome and Mosaic Down Syndrome manifest and affect all individuals differently.  I know that I get caught in the trap of comparison occasionally looking at friends' kids (or our brilliant little niece Em, for example) and seeing all that they can do or have yet to do.  I didn't write this post to make anyone feel poorly about their children or to make you feel awesome because your 2 year old is doing more than my soon to be 3 year old.  I wrote it because I am tremendously proud of my son and all that he has worked so hard to accomplish.

Tangent:

I recently had a less than positive conversation about special needs.  While Porter having Down Syndrome wasn't in our plan I want you all to know, I'd never change that about him!  I often look at my calendar filled with specialist appointments, therapy, extra preschool, etc., and marvel that this is my life.  I never knew I had the strength to do this.  I also never knew of the immense blessings that come from having a child with special needs.  I overlook it all the time, but family members are always commenting on the sweet spirit Porter brings.  It's true he's closer to God and by being closer to him we witness that all the time.  There are obstacles, challenges and situations that are unique, but there are also many miracles.  I sometimes catch myself going off in DS talk with someone who has no idea what I'm talking about and I see the lost, terrified look on their face and I have to bring it back down.  I forget all the time that this isn't typical.  However, I think EVERY child has things about them that are challenging, trying and unique.  What about being a parent is easy, besides love?  Our experience might just scare you a little, but our lives aren't that different from the perfect little plan I had in my head before giving birth to Porter.  I have been taught that it's actually better than anything I could have ever planned for myself.  One of the greatest blessings of having Porter in the family has been learning to trust God.  I thought I knew what it meant to live on faith, I thought I knew what it meant to surrender to God's will...I was wrong.  I still haven't learned it 100%, but Porter has helped me learn to TRUST far more then I ever did before his birth.  I hope that I can portray to friends and family that interact with us closely how I really feel, simply because I'm realizing I come off the wrong way all the time.  I get super excited about everything and I just don't portray my good feelings correctly sometimes.  I'm not eloquent with words or sharing what I feel in my heart so that it's accurate.  I have gone to share things about our experience and I just can't, they're too sacred.

  Friends, I know I talk about Down Syndrome a lot.  I do that because that's a big part of my life.  I hope you know that it's a good part, it's a part I'd gladly fight to protect, defend and keep, it's a part that's more joyous than I ever could have imagined.  It is a blessing that I am so grateful for.  I hope you know that! 

When Mommy Cries

I could tell a long story  filled with "you should take pity on me" details, but I'm not going to do that because, honestly, I'm being over dramatic with myself and it is not that big of a deal.  We'll just do the short pity story.  My theme song for the day, "Chin Up" you know from the original Charlotte's Web and it was my mind set as well.    You'll see.

This is from a few days ago.  We didn't know what was bugging him yet, but cuddles are always a plus!

Porter had a rough night, we got him up at 5:30 to discover a 101 fever.  Lovely.  We kept him home from school, again.  School that we pay for if he's there or not. We took him to the doctor as soon as we could.  They found strep.  I have it too.  It made a lot of sense and I was grateful it wasn't another untreatable virus.  I was feeling pretty good about things.  After lunch and prescription pick up we were hours past naptime when we got home.  Porter put up a bit of a fight but compared to what his sister put me through it was weak sauce.  I went to battle with her twice and finally got her to sleep.  She desperately needed it, she hadn't slept all day.  I really wanted a nap, but knew this might be my only chance to work on my homework before it's due. (Did I mention I'm taking courses through the next year to help keep my teaching license current?) So I got 10 minutes into it and the door bell rings, the dog has a level ten bark fest and Priya starts to scream.  It was home health delivering our oxygen tanks for Porter in the event of a natural disaster or emergency where his compressor wouldn't work.  I've never used tanks so I needed the brief training.  Which equated to me doing my best to focus through the dog barking and my 2 babies crying upstairs.  I rushed to get to Porter as soon as the dude was out my front door.  Opening the door quickly only to realize seconds later he was laying right in front of it and I had just jabbed him in the ribcage.  I picked him up feeling sorry for myself, picked on, then ashamed of my attitude and I started to cry.  Then it turned into bawling.  All the while I can hear Priya screaming that scream of hers the gets under my skin and makes my temperature rise.  I was suppose to be comforting Porter but he pushed himself back to see my face and took in my tears.  He touched my cheek and softly said to me, "It's alright." (words I've never heard from him before) As he wrapped his little body around my shoulders.  It felt so good the flood gates opened.  Porter pushed back and wiped my tears.  He patted and rubbed my back while repeating, "It's okay, It's okay."  Which helped me get myself under control.  He jumped down and ran into Priya's room to help his sister.  That little tender heart was such an example to me.  Not to mention, exactly what I needed.  A hug from someone who loves me.  I never stopped in the moment to think that I needed him more than he needed me.  As I ponder on that thought I think I need to remember that more often.  I need my children way more than they need me.  Mommy lesson learned.

I took this while he watched Curious George this morning.  Wouldn't even hold his head up.

 

Now we're watching Curious George 2, ya know since P watched the first one while I ran around packing up for the trip to the doctors office.  It took 15 minutes but I convinced Priya she'd survive just sitting next to me and that she didn't need to be held.   Hopefully she sleeps well tonight because a nap sure isn't in the picture.  With peace restored I wanted to write this down.  I never want to forget that part in bold lettering.  I'm sure it wont be the last time Porter shows me the way.  My amazing child who knows what it means to love as Christ did/does.  I'm holding back the tears again, best end this. 

I'm so grateful for my sweet, sweet Porter Ray.