A few more pics...

I was looking at these pics from this weekend on my phone and couldn't help but post them because they're so cute!

{Grandma Thompson was super excited to give P a ride in the "cozy-coupe"!}

{I love this one! I couldn't help but throw him in the stuffed animal bin at Toys R Us and he LOVED IT!}

1st Birthday

We had a Birthday Party tonight! I love our family, we know how to throw a nice shin-dig. Thanks for everyone who helped out, even if it was just helping me set up! Luckily for us, Porter's Aunt Rachael took pictures tonight because we took like a total of 7. But here are a few for you to look at until we get the gems from Rach.

I'm hoping to get back into the blogging thing this upcoming week, but I make no promises! :) There are several things going on this week and it's a short one, so who knows.

{62 monkey cupcakes later, we were ready to go.}

{Cupcake Tower}

{Photo display of P: newborn to 12 months old}

{Trash the cake & the baby--P wasn't a big fan of frosting, but he likes cake!}

{Messy Toddler -- weird to call him that.}

I know Porter wont remember much if anything from this party but it really helped me. I told Aaron, "I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my baby and celebrating the arrival of my toddler." Looking back over the last year and taking some time to really remember was so good for Mommy. Hoping to write a 1 year old post all about P soon...

Blog Apologies

It's Birthday Week at our house and I'm refusing to be caught by surprised by all the preparations our little one's party will require. That means starting now so adding a little party prep each day on top of every day duties. :) So, with that I've let go of my 2 posts a week goal, sorry. I'm hoping to write a "1 year old" post all about Porter, but it probably wont happen soon. Here is the beginning of some of the party supplies... I'm excited!

I'm aware that the majority of this blogs traffic is for Porter and that his Grandma's and family members come here for a Porter fix so all I can offer is a Phone Photo Dump from Aaron daily pics to hold you over.

{Just Looking Good}

{No caption necessary---he didn't eat it}

{Daddy Baby Naps- I love!}

{This P at the Zoo-- He had lots of fun with his friend Miley, she was into reptiles and P fuzzy things.}

{If you find yourself without the proper tools for teething, just chew on a shoe!}

{Taking a play break after lunch with friends, he wasn't even going to let me scrap him in for the car ride.}

{Lazy Play: he pulled himself onto the pillow so he could play in comfort}

{The face :)}

{P's pulling to stand on flat surfaces and standing one handed...tricky, tricky}

{Blurry, but you get the idea...TP}

{His papa can't stand paper in anyones mouth so I took this to give him the hiby gibbies and then pulled that tissue out of P's mouth.}

{After his hair cut last week he fell asleep holding the string of his balloon.}

{The result of boredom...I think}

Porter has had croup this last week...no fun! He's slowly coming out of it but for all our sleeps sack we're hoping he gets better soon!

All Put Back Together

While I've had some moments where I've thought about taking down yesterdays post because some find it "Taboo" I'm not going to. I wrote it at my weakest moment yesterday and feel no shame... it is what it is, I struggle where I struggle, that's just honest. I want to thank all of you for your love for me and my Dad. I got several calls and emails, not to mention all your comments, they're so appreciated! I bummed through yesterday and came out with peace. I don't think this will ever resolve for me, but it's probably not suppose to. I think we all go through adversity, so I never feel alone in that aspect. We all just have different things to endure and the Lord knows what each of us need to learn so we go through different things. But, everyone has something that causes them pain of the learning and growing variety. I'm grateful I was raised by Casey and to have loved him.

I realize P hasn't been on here much lately so lets fix that right now! This morning I caved and let the little man play with his Banana Breakfast Blend that I worked so hard to make. Oh well, he had fun and had a healthy breakfast too!{Let it begin!}

{Are bananas good for the skin?}

{He's dirty and cute to boot!}

{Messy Face}

{He wouldn't hold still so this is the best I could get of his PJs. Laundry awaits me.}

{The reason he wanted to get dirty in the first place... Already learning how to get what he wants!}

Today Is A Hard Day

Remembering Daddy...

{I didn't protect this one so if you want to see it bigger just click on it.}

It's hard to believe it's been 3 years. For those of you who don't know the story of my father you can read more about it here and here. Be forewarned, it's not a very happy story.

Ever year my Dad's birthday comes in March and then it's like a ticker starts going off in my mind until this day comes. I put off all the emotion that comes with this day and honestly avoid it. Last night as I tried to sleep the ticker was louder than normal, I made a deal with my emotions knowing that if I let them overcome me when I was too tired to deal with it, it would get ugly. So, to negotiate I told my emotions they could come up today as long as I got some sleep last night, and I did. I woke up with a head ache and a heavy heart.

It's like swirling...anger, happiness, sadness, loneliness, love, lose, grief, forgiveness, and understanding. I jump from one to the other so quickly. I know it's all just part of the process and that I have every right to feel these things and that they'll lead to peace and comfort. I'm so grateful for the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ on days like today. I'll make it through, but right now, I just need to feel it, experience it, and then I can deal with it.

When I go through this memories always come back to me. This year I can't help but think what great buddies Porter and Dad would have been. This lead me to think of sitting with Dad in church as a little girl. I would sit next to him and play with his hands. They were thick, strong, gruff hands. I stopped playing and put my small delicate hand in his large palm, I paused and in my child mind said, "Remember this forever!" Dad did this thing where he'd link your arm in his, pull you in, flex his large muscles (always making me feel safe) and rest his head on top of yours and just hold you close. He did that in my memory, it makes me smile.

I sit here crying and missing him so much!
Love you forever and always Daddy!

She's an Inspiration

Aaron's sister Rachael ran her first marathon today and we went out to support her. She was amazing and we were so proud of her!

Later this evening (I guess last night, now) Aaron and Rach got texting back and forth, the next thing I know, they're registering for the Disney Land Half-Marathon together. I'm so proud of Aaron for committing to this and KNOW he can do it and do it WELL!!! Just like everything else he does!

But Rachael...yeah...she started it all! She really is an inspiration to me. She lives life to the fullest, she is courageous, believes in herself, loves openly, and grows each day into someone I admire, more and more.

A Good Cause

Hi Everyone,

A family that I'm friends with through the blogging world is trying to raise funds to help them adopt this beautiful baby girl with down syndrome. They have a lot of great stuff for not very much $, if you have a few minutes go browse and place a bid if you find something you've been looking for. Visit Here

I have a major soft spot in my heart for these orphans...just ask Aaron how he felt about being side-swiped with this question one night, "What are your thoughts on adopting an orphan with down syndrome?" We've talked about adoption before we ever started trying for children, I've just always felt providing a home for a child that needs love would we awesome, but it's pretty clear to us now isn't the right time in our lives. Love my husband for staying calm when I ask such abrupt questions. I know we can't save the world (that's such a bummer to me, because the world needs saved) but maybe we can give a little help here and there when we can.

Joy in the Little Things

I love watching Porter discover the world one little thing at a time. Tonight he had fun with a blue frisbee. He was fascinated with looking through it and seeing the blue world on the other side! That makes me think of my own life and how I need to slow down and pay attention to the simple things more often. I swear I'm learning just as much from P as he's learning from me!

Happy Mother's Day--To ME!

My First Official Mother's Day!

I feel so blessed to have this little man as my Son! Being a mother isn't the easiest job, but I honestly believe it's the most rewarding. I had a nice day, I felt appreciated (thank you, Aaron), taught the Sunbeams, and had a chance to express love to the mothers in our lives.

I asked Aaron if we could start a tradition where each year we take a Mother's day picture of me with our children. Because let's be honest, Mom is usually taking all the pictures and doesn't end up in as many. Aaron tries hard to prevent this but there is still a slight discrepancy. The project of the afternoon, get a good picture of the babe and me. We did pretty well, I've over shared, but I've never had a complaint about too many pictures.

{We thought this one was cute even though P's not looking at the camera he still has a cute look on his face.}

{Always laughing together!}

{We're so cute! hehe}

{Here is a shout out to Dad. P sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he is concentrating, just like his Papa.}

{I finish with my FAVORITE! I spend a good part of my day smooching those cheeks so I completely love this picture! I love the look on P's face, his smile, his eyes, and his little hands half heartedly trying to push away from me.}

Aww, I LOVE PORTER SO MUCH! What a blessing being a Mother has been in my life!

How does your Daddy Cheer You Up?

Porter fell down one stair. I saw it coming and yelled as I tried to catch him from the 6 inch fall, scaring the poor boy to tears. So, his Daddy tried this as a way to cheer him up and restore our favorite smile! This video shows his late night emotion roller-coaster, happy, sad, happy, sad, giggle, cry. It happens to the best of us in my family.

*Posted thinking of P's Grandmas and Great Grandmas*

Morning Mischief

I'm sitting here right next to my list of things TO DO and "write a blog post" is not on that list! But, I couldn't resist this. If you click on the video you can hear my logic of why I'm okay with this.

*Warning* Porter takes a spill right at the end, he's fine, he didn't even whimper. I offered a quick laugh with, "Did you fall down?!" and he was totally over it. Looks bad though.

I came around the corner and saw this and said, "Oh No, No!" Then quickly change to, "Where's the camera?!"

{I love that handful of dirt! That's my BOY! Hope we're dirt buddies for life!}

{This is actually a fairly delicate plant, so I may have to find a new home for it.}

These are after he fell, just wanted you to know he really was alright.


If at first you don't make a big enough mess, try, try again!

Teaching helped me learn not to react to a mess. Older kids pretty much already feel bad or embarrassed when they make messes at least at school in front of their peers they do. For little ones like Porter a mess is usually a good learning experience. I will admit I have to remind myself, "It can be cleaned up, it doesn't hurt a thing." So with that I'm adding 2 more things to my TO DO list, blog (check!), clean up dirt...