Europe Stinks (Not Really)

I wrote this on the train ride to Rome, so it's a little late but that's okay.

This is a small collection of the not so glamorous stories of our Europe Vacation. The first story is where the title is derived from.

Czech Your Deodorant
I have briefly mentioned before that the train ride into the Czech Republic from Germany was not a pleasant experience! Well, here's why... After trouble boarding the train and finding a seat we were relieved when we finally got settled in, however short lived. Three stops down the line we pulled into an immensely crowded platform and with one glance it was obvious they had oversold the train; not to just anyone but to a group of middle schoolers. There we sat in a little compartment: Aaron, Meg, and four unshowered rowdy Czech teenage boys. We survived by leaving the window open. But, when it started to rain on Meg and the window was closed, our noses had no escape. We left the boys and stood outside the closed doors of the compartment for the rest of the journey. I wonder what they thought of us.

Close Encounters with G.O.M.s (Grumpy Old Men)
Now just because we can call them men doesn't mean they smell any better than the teenagers.

Encounter #1- Yelling German G.O.M. boarding the train to Czech starts hollering about how we don't know how to board a train, that we were in the way, that we shouldn't be here unless we knew the language. Obviously the G.O.M. was yelling at me because Aaron translated for me later. Aaron understood just fine once he finally looked up to see said G.O.M. jostle me and my luggage out of his smelly way. So, grumpy! He continued to yell at us after the train started to move.
Encounter #2- Upon leaving Prague we were early to board the train (which isn't always possible) and found a place for our luggage and our seats. As we go to sit down, some G.O.M. Biker Butt starts yelling at us to move the luggage so his bike can go where our bags are. Aaron brushed him off because there wasn't any other place for the bags. Then enters G.O.M. Biker Butt's Friend w/bike. They loudly converse between the two of them making gestures at us, and then move our luggage into the aisle blocking all other passengers! We were on our feet, G.O.M.s on one side of the train attendant, A&M on the other! GO TIME! Three more G.O.M.s smooshed onto the train with their bikes. We were out numbered 5 vs 2 at this point, so we ceded defeat. We got permission to put our luggage in two open seats for lack of a better solution and calmly smiled back at the 5 G.O.M. Biker Butts all the way to Vienna. They were a lot nicer after a few beers.
Encounter #3- Same train ride as #2. Austrian G.O.M. wants us to move our luggage so his friends can sit right next to him instead of a row behind. We were armed and ready to battle it out. Enough with G.O.M.s!!! Before anything happened, however, the attendant told the man to move our luggage himself or take the open seats. Yay, for non-yelling train attendants!

Don't let the wrinkles fool ya! She's vicious!
Now in the states we respect and try to be helpful to the elderly and in most cases that effort is returned with kindness. After 3 weeks of being skipped in line, pushed, shoved, poked, prodded and pinched by elderly women I turned to Aaron and said, "If one more elderly women pushes me, I swear I'm pushing back!" Our German friend Annelie heard this story and said, "You're just now figuring out that it's okay to push back?! You Americans are so overly polite."
Well, I've got a new system I use. First I try a loud, "excuse me", then a nudge, and if they aren't moving I just head the direction I need to go and if they choose to stay in that path so be it! Aaron laughed quite hard after watching me in Vienna make my presence known on a crowded bus. "Excuse Me! Excuse Me!" as I lifted my 50 pound luggage and shoved my way off the tightly packed bus. I know, barbaric but I was proud of myself.

So, I can't write any more of these they're too long. But if you'd like to chat some time ask about the Babling American Tourists or Not Such a Delight Turkish Second Hand.