Porter Turns 4

All about Porter at 4 years old: 

• After an 8 month plateau in Porter's development we are starting to see a flourish of new skills and vocabulary.  We love seeing him be confident and healthy enough to try new things out.  We are so proud of him.  We had backed off therapy a lot but after getting the all clear from specialists on Porter's health and development, we decided aggressive therapy would be the way to move forward.    Porter has been seeing an Occupational Therapist twice a month a Speech Therapist every week and doing Equestrian Therapy every week.  These things are a sacrifice for our little family because even with insurance they cost a great deal in time and money.  We're so grateful to the handful of friends that help with Priya while we are at appointments.  These things have been paying off and Porter is progressing.  We are currently headed into a rest period where you take a break from therapy after 12 weeks on and I'm really looking forward to that break.

• Some of you know that we had become suspicious of Porter having Autism.  The specialist we visited also told us that while Porter does have Sensory Processing Disorder and Anxiety, two very common side issues with Autism, Porter doesn't at this time have Autism.  She told us it may emerge in the next year but for now sensory issues and anxiety are just those problems on their own.  

• Pretending is a new daily game at our house.  The most popular one is "Scary Bear" (Brave)  Porter will go into scary mode and wait for your reaction, then he growls and chases you around the house.  We also play "Bad Guy" (Ralph from Wreck It Ralph), "Monster" (Sulley) , "Dinosaur" (Rex- from Toy Story) etc.  He'll also cook in our play kitchen and mimic our daily tasks.  Yay!
• From Porter's little game it's probably easy to tell that his favorite way to escape his frustration and honestly his true joy in life, is movies.  He loves most things Disney and I'd dare say any animated movie I'll let him watch.  It's borderline a problem some days. 

• Porter and Sydney are learning to play together.  I love it.  I think this is more a change in our dog than in Porter.  Sydney is getting old enough that he's softening up to the children. 
• The most challenging thing about Porter these days is dealing with his Sensory Processing Disorder.  We're learning how to deal with it and how to help him cope when he is overwhelmed but if we deviate from his comfort zone too much or break routine it can get really tough.  The most frustrating part of that is trying to explain to others something that we don't completely understand ourselves.  It also breaks my heart when others assume Porter is just being naughty when we know there is a reason behind his behavior and that it's not something he can control.  Like any diagnosis it takes time to learn and adapt to it.  We're still learning but it's nice to know he's not being naughty.  

• Because of SPD (sensory processing disorder) Porter will pull you down to the ground and wrestle with you.  He does this because his body craves the pressure he feels in his joints when he wrestles.  I'm so grateful our Priya Lynn has picked up many skills in wrestling and nicely holds her own with Porter.  
• Porter is a big fan of Birthdays for anyone.  He loves the cake, presents, candles and sings happy birthday to others.  He always pretends to blow the candles out and is a little sad when it's not his turn.  It's really sweet. 

• School this past year was a really good thing for Porter.  He learned a lot and really enjoyed being at school.  He has been missing it a lot this summer.  We did not make great progress on goals because of the plateau we encountered and in some aspects we saw regression which is always discouraging to see in a report.  We changed his goals and some of them we saw a lot of growth others will continue to need work.  I'm excited for our IEP for next year and setting new goals (I know I'm a weirdo).  I was so proud of Porter when he sang the words at his end of year program along with his classmates.  It was obvious he was fighting with his urge to just run away because the room was full of adults, it was noisy, and he was overwhelmed, but he did great!  He also had many people laughing at him and I was so glad I was in the front row so I didn't see any bad looks (if there were any) because of his shenanigans. 
• So this may seem silly but Porter is fully drinking thin fluids these days, making it a lot easier to keep him hydrated.  He still needs a little bit of flavor to his water but we can get away with a 4:1 ratio of water to juice.  A small victory! 

• Porter's favorite meal is Cereal without a doubt.  He has become very stubborn about what he'll eat and when he'll eat it.  But he's always game for cereal. 
• Part of SPD is not liking textures or in Porter's words, "Eww, messy!"  He absolutely hates being messy and is starting to generalize messy over to his sister and has a hard time when she's messy-- which is constantly.  He'll say, "Mom Messy" as he points at Priya. 

• Like any respectable brother he harasses Priya just for the fun of it.  This morning he stole her blanket and ran down the hall as she chased him screaming.  He giggled with delight as he ran down the stairs away with her blanket.  He had one big mischievous grin. 
• Porter really likes to rock out to a good tune but we're also finding that his favorites are always instrumental.  He loves dynamic movie soundtracks and he also really loves calming classical music.  It seems to bring him peace when his world is over stimulating. 

• The last 6 months Porter has had a love/hate relationship with his glasses.  His favorite frames were discontinued and he has yet to find a pair he really likes.  However, he's a smarty and knows he needs his glasses to see so he keeps trying and so do we.  We've been through 6 sets of frames in the last 6 months due to some of that hate coming out in our boy.  I hope we find something that works soon! (update: we have indeed found a pair he loves and wears without destroying) 
• Porter will run away from me and never look back.  It scares me to death!  I just keep praying he'll learn to have a little fear and stay close.  He is a skilled runner and is so extremely fast for his size.  It's something friends comment on a lot because no one really suspects it and then they try to catch him.  Another reason for me to keep running.  I'm gonna have to be able to keep up with Porter as he continues to grow up on us. 

• Porter has A LOT of attitude.  If he doesn't want to do what you've asked him to he'll put his hands up, walk away, turn the corner and then when you're out of his sight he'll say, "What?" 
•  He is also very frustrated these days.  While we've seen more vocabulary in his language this also means there has been a burst in understanding and receptive vocabulary (thank you Priya).  The gap between his expressive language and his receptive language often results in screaming.  He can't say what he wants to.  It's frustrating to both of us.  We'll just keep working and hoping we can help him through this with patience and love. 
• PORTER IS POTTY TRAINED!!!  *Happy Dance*  It still needs some shaping so he can be completely independent at it, but he wears underwear all day except for night time.  So proud of him! 
• Porter is my little lover.  Porter has a need to be built up every day.  He needs contact and cuddles with people who love him.  If you can imagine his frustration with the world he experiences it's no wonder he has a hard time.  The world to Porter is very different from what the rest of us experience so he needs love.  

• We have learned and are trying to create a shame free parenting style because of Porter's tender spirit.  Porter has shown us that love and positive reinforcement is the best way for him and we've seen the same to be true in our experiences with Priya.  Porter maybe a super sensitive soul but I've come to realize that every child has a tenderness about them and I really don't want to be the one to influence that sweetness out of them.  We still set limits for our children but we do so with encouragement, kind correction that doesn't isolate our children and lots of patience.  It's one of the hardest and scariest concepts I've been learning but example and modeling are the most powerful ways to teach Porter.  The pressure is on to be the Adult I hope my children will one day be... no pressure, right?   I'm so grateful Porter has lead us to this path of parenting  because it just feels so right for our family and our children.  

 As you can see my brain is a constant stream of thoughts, concerns, ideas and use of energy concerning Porter.  That may seem like a lot to others but it's so worth it.  When I have a peaceful moment with Porter I remember that we communicate best in stillness and quiet.  As we really stop to look at each other his spirit whispers to mine, "Hello, remember me?  I remember you dear friend!"  In those moments I awe that this incredible spiritual being in my son!  I have chills and our spirits share secrets with one another of the life we lived as friends before we came to Earth.  I weep with his tiny body wrapped up in my arms as I feel the full joy of the privilege  it is to be his mother!

WE LOVE YOU- PORTER!!!