Reminder to Self: It's Okay

{This is Porter's, "How much longer do I have to stay on my tummy?" face. Just like I play with Porter after I make him work, if you make it through this post I promise more pictures.}

This morning I went to write down the date and Aaron reminded me that it's October so I needed to change my 9 to 10. I knew this...where/how did I get off? Shortly after that he handed me the pills I left on the counter last night when I came downstairs to get a glass of water to take my pills. *rolling my eyes*

I make mistakes and fall short of my own expectations constantly, but it's okay. I can go scribble out all of those 9s and replace them with 10s. That's the beauty of life, there is always tomorrow, and I can keep working on me each day. I don't take my mistakes for granted, they're an opportunity to learn and I intend to improve myself because I can always do better. I have discovered a new stumbling stone in my life: the ignorance surrounding Down Syndrome. It seems appropriate that I'm writing this in October (the 10th month of the year) because it's National Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Let me share how this all got started.

The other night we had some old friends over for dinner. Halfway through the evening I was asked by our guest: "It was the car accident during your pregnancy that caused it right?" Me: "Caused what?" Our Guest: "Your son's down syndrome, or was it something you did during your pregnancy?" I am a red head and the bad temper is there deep down inside me! I did my best to stay calm and explain that Porter has an extra chromosome and that it's been there since his conception and that no one did anything "wrong". I had to bite my tongue to not add in the fact that my child was born with a genetic abnormality means that I did everything right during my pregnancy because it's our body's natural response to try and abort embryos with genetic abnormalities. I then had to dispel this persons belief of my sons potential and explain that his future was much brighter than the picture they were painting. I'm not going to lie, I was angry, frustrated, and a little hurt. Did anybody pay attention during genetics in biology class during high school? (lol, I can answer my own question.)

Once I got through the initial shock, I've really had no problems with this sweet angel the Lord blessed us with. Having a son who has a disability (which seems to me more of an ability) is fine, dealing with the extra appointments, doctor visits, therapy, and all that is fine. It would be nice to not have that, but it builds my faith and strengthens the bond I have with Porter. I do believe, however, that I've found my challenge from the Lord and it has nothing to do with Porter. Instead it's going to be patience with other people. I just need to remind myself that people don't know what to say, they don't know much if anything about it, and I really do believe for the most part people mean no harm. I think part of Porter's mission here on this earth is to allow others to experience something different, to grow in acceptance and compassion. As his Mother I need to realize that I play a vital part in how others will respond to him and I can be his voice until he finds his own. I can't respond to people defensively and let the Momma Bear overrule me. I'm adding a new line to my prayers, "Lord give me patience". The next time this happens and I'm pretty sure it will I'm going to take a deep breath and remind myself "It's Okay!"

I wanted to share this scripture it says it best:

St John 9: 1-3
AND as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

All the pictures in the post today are from my phone so they aren't as good as our real camera. I try to send a picture a day to Aaron at work and it's saved us because we haven't had the regular camera out much this last week.

{When the animals don't do what Porter wants he tells them off...that's the Red Hair talking.}

{This is Porter's victory face. He was in a battle with the butterflies and he destroyed them. Can you seem them in the bottom left corner?}

{His Zoolander face...we haven't seen this much since his newborn days}

{Baby wiggles- he was put to bed in the center of his crib with his head safely above the covers and they were tightly tucked in the side.}

{This I took today and I sent it to Aaron with the caption: "Angels take naps too!"}