1st Birthday-- Little Moments

These are so precious, they make me so happy!

{2 teeth Smiles}


{When I saw this I said out loud, "Be still my heart!"}

1st Birthday -- Party Decor

All I've got to say about this is... spoiled!

A few more pics...

I was looking at these pics from this weekend on my phone and couldn't help but post them because they're so cute!

{Grandma Thompson was super excited to give P a ride in the "cozy-coupe"!}

{I love this one! I couldn't help but throw him in the stuffed animal bin at Toys R Us and he LOVED IT!}

1st Birthday

We had a Birthday Party tonight! I love our family, we know how to throw a nice shin-dig. Thanks for everyone who helped out, even if it was just helping me set up! Luckily for us, Porter's Aunt Rachael took pictures tonight because we took like a total of 7. But here are a few for you to look at until we get the gems from Rach.

I'm hoping to get back into the blogging thing this upcoming week, but I make no promises! :) There are several things going on this week and it's a short one, so who knows.

{62 monkey cupcakes later, we were ready to go.}

{Cupcake Tower}

{Photo display of P: newborn to 12 months old}

{Trash the cake & the baby--P wasn't a big fan of frosting, but he likes cake!}

{Messy Toddler -- weird to call him that.}

I know Porter wont remember much if anything from this party but it really helped me. I told Aaron, "I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my baby and celebrating the arrival of my toddler." Looking back over the last year and taking some time to really remember was so good for Mommy. Hoping to write a 1 year old post all about P soon...

Blog Apologies

It's Birthday Week at our house and I'm refusing to be caught by surprised by all the preparations our little one's party will require. That means starting now so adding a little party prep each day on top of every day duties. :) So, with that I've let go of my 2 posts a week goal, sorry. I'm hoping to write a "1 year old" post all about Porter, but it probably wont happen soon. Here is the beginning of some of the party supplies... I'm excited!

I'm aware that the majority of this blogs traffic is for Porter and that his Grandma's and family members come here for a Porter fix so all I can offer is a Phone Photo Dump from Aaron daily pics to hold you over.

{Just Looking Good}

{No caption necessary---he didn't eat it}

{Daddy Baby Naps- I love!}

{This P at the Zoo-- He had lots of fun with his friend Miley, she was into reptiles and P fuzzy things.}

{If you find yourself without the proper tools for teething, just chew on a shoe!}

{Taking a play break after lunch with friends, he wasn't even going to let me scrap him in for the car ride.}

{Lazy Play: he pulled himself onto the pillow so he could play in comfort}

{The face :)}

{P's pulling to stand on flat surfaces and standing one handed...tricky, tricky}

{Blurry, but you get the idea...TP}

{His papa can't stand paper in anyones mouth so I took this to give him the hiby gibbies and then pulled that tissue out of P's mouth.}

{After his hair cut last week he fell asleep holding the string of his balloon.}

{The result of boredom...I think}

Porter has had croup this last week...no fun! He's slowly coming out of it but for all our sleeps sack we're hoping he gets better soon!

All Put Back Together

While I've had some moments where I've thought about taking down yesterdays post because some find it "Taboo" I'm not going to. I wrote it at my weakest moment yesterday and feel no shame... it is what it is, I struggle where I struggle, that's just honest. I want to thank all of you for your love for me and my Dad. I got several calls and emails, not to mention all your comments, they're so appreciated! I bummed through yesterday and came out with peace. I don't think this will ever resolve for me, but it's probably not suppose to. I think we all go through adversity, so I never feel alone in that aspect. We all just have different things to endure and the Lord knows what each of us need to learn so we go through different things. But, everyone has something that causes them pain of the learning and growing variety. I'm grateful I was raised by Casey and to have loved him.

I realize P hasn't been on here much lately so lets fix that right now! This morning I caved and let the little man play with his Banana Breakfast Blend that I worked so hard to make. Oh well, he had fun and had a healthy breakfast too!{Let it begin!}

{Are bananas good for the skin?}

{He's dirty and cute to boot!}

{Messy Face}

{He wouldn't hold still so this is the best I could get of his PJs. Laundry awaits me.}

{The reason he wanted to get dirty in the first place... Already learning how to get what he wants!}

Today Is A Hard Day

Remembering Daddy...

{I didn't protect this one so if you want to see it bigger just click on it.}

It's hard to believe it's been 3 years. For those of you who don't know the story of my father you can read more about it here and here. Be forewarned, it's not a very happy story.

Ever year my Dad's birthday comes in March and then it's like a ticker starts going off in my mind until this day comes. I put off all the emotion that comes with this day and honestly avoid it. Last night as I tried to sleep the ticker was louder than normal, I made a deal with my emotions knowing that if I let them overcome me when I was too tired to deal with it, it would get ugly. So, to negotiate I told my emotions they could come up today as long as I got some sleep last night, and I did. I woke up with a head ache and a heavy heart.

It's like swirling...anger, happiness, sadness, loneliness, love, lose, grief, forgiveness, and understanding. I jump from one to the other so quickly. I know it's all just part of the process and that I have every right to feel these things and that they'll lead to peace and comfort. I'm so grateful for the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ on days like today. I'll make it through, but right now, I just need to feel it, experience it, and then I can deal with it.

When I go through this memories always come back to me. This year I can't help but think what great buddies Porter and Dad would have been. This lead me to think of sitting with Dad in church as a little girl. I would sit next to him and play with his hands. They were thick, strong, gruff hands. I stopped playing and put my small delicate hand in his large palm, I paused and in my child mind said, "Remember this forever!" Dad did this thing where he'd link your arm in his, pull you in, flex his large muscles (always making me feel safe) and rest his head on top of yours and just hold you close. He did that in my memory, it makes me smile.

I sit here crying and missing him so much!
Love you forever and always Daddy!