InstaUpdate

Because I'm so behind the task of catching up (along with many other tasks in my life right now) seems overwhelming. So you get a watered down version of an update until I can rise to the task of catching up.  Instagram is a smartphone app where users can share photos with each other.  The fun part is adding filters easily to your phone photos to make them look pretty awesome.  I grabbed a bunch of my instagrams to share with you.  This is just skimming the surface of some of the events in our lives since... APRIL?  Yeah I know, I know!  Major guilt, but I'm letting it go because there are more important things right now.

My favorite photos of Priya's birthday spread.

The photo on the left is post surgery the photo on the right is pre-surgery.

this is also post-- my sweet brave boy

I took this at the zoo one afternoon.  She's growing up extremely fast on me.  Since she has turned 1 her development has been exponential.  I feel like I have toddler twins most days, they keep me busy and exhausted, but so happy. 

"Snow White"  She loves all things edible.  

Hiking is always good.

This is a favorite.  My little guy in this grand location. 

Strawberries and creme.  We have to take advantage whenever we can. 

You know I'm overly ambitious with my reading list.  I still get scriptures in no matter what, but when I can sneak in a read I'm currently working on the playful parenting book and to say it has changed my life and my children's lives is an understatement.  It's the first parenting book where I don't feel like it's purely opinion or condescending.  I really love it. 

Sometimes you just have to let them win the battle.  He had a great time with the wrapping paper. 

Sinus infection+severe knee pain+no preggers or nursing=the medicine that actually works!  We're beginning to suspect that my Dad's allergies actually did get passed on to me and my kids.  One of our doctors said this year is really bad and people who normally don't have problems are.  I've had a perma sinus infection this summer... lame. 

The next few need no explanation aside from: my children are cute! 

 

Father's Day-  We checked into a local hotel, swam a ton, ate fantastic BBQ and slept for 10 hours with no waking from the kids.  It was so refreshing!   Not to mention someone else made us hot breakfast before we checked out.  Spending time with the #1 man in all of our lives made everyone happy. 

He decided to nap in the middle of our Costco trip.  You want to kiss him don't you?

Physical Therapy has taken over 8 hours of our week.  I am irritated by this.  My physical therapist finally discovered the real reason for my injury today, a rotated pelvis and I guess it goes the wrong way in several places.  It's not going to be fun to fix but I finally know why I haven't been reaching 100%.  It is nice to have an explanation for all my aches and pains besides getting old.  Aaron's injury is just going to take a lot of time to heal.  He plans to run both of his marathons this summer but he'll have to take it extremely easy on his pace.

Smoothies for Breakfast.

Homemade Cinnamon Rolls for the YW bake sale

Yes, the potty training continues.  We have to stick to sessions and he does really well.  When the sessions go too long he gets stressed out by it.  So to prevent trauma to everyone involved we do training sessions for now. 

art with the finger paints from Aunt Karli

trying out new hair styles is the only thing that keeps me from chopping it off.  I love this one.

The biggest and best news is this little lady's arrival.  Whitley Jane Gapinski.  Aaron's sister's first baby!  She is so beautiful and helps my heart remember the feeling of Heaven. 

Her mommy calls her "Whitter Bug" - isn't that sweet? 

snaps from one of our dance parties... is a home complete without music and dacing?  I think not.

Fire by our house again.  It was out in only a few hours. 

Bonus Goal: CHECK!!!  Yes, sir!  Newly installed this weekend.  I haven't used them yet I'm a little intimidated, honestly.

We are so blessed with and surplus of good people in our lives.  People that build us up, love us despite our shortcomings, people who believe in us, cheer us on through our trials and love us as Christ loves us. (tears fill my eyes)  Family and friends that strengthen my family, I can never thank you enough for being a part of my life.  Your friendship means to world to us, Thank You!

Grandma Lynda Saved Porter's Life

Hi Grandma,
I'm still trying to potty train Porter and its going to be a long road.  It's become a focus of my prayers and I felt like I should ask for your advice.   So I'm asking any words of wisdom?  This is the worst parent responsiblity I've come up against yet. :)  love you very much! Meggy


Her Reply:

Hey!!!   IT WILL HAPPEN.....3 sweet  words....It may take longer than you want but do it with LOVE and lots and lots of PATIENCE....Boys are tougher than girls.....I think maybe they don't mind being messy so much....Pray for help and guidance and HUG him alot......Luvya much G-ma


I read that moments before finding this mess pictured below.  After opening the door and seeing my toddler excitedly acknowledge me and run towards me,  I slammed the door shut, paced around the house screaming (no words just letting the overwhelming feeling out), called Aaron and demanded he come home right away and calmly reopened that door and rushed Porter to the tub while restraining my other toddler who really wanted in that room.  (Aaron later confessed laughing as soon as he got off the phone with me.)  Once Porter was clean, we put on our game faces.  We had a serious talk with Porter about how poop isn't clean and unsafe to play in.  He then helped with every minute of the clean up process. 

We had been weighing the pros and cons of carpet cleaning vs. new carpet prior to this event.  We're now on the fast track new carpet plan.

And because you will never remove the country from this girl I just can't help but share what my prefered title for this post would be:

"Shit Happens"

I Concede

I'm officially the loser of this friendly competition, can't say I didn't see that coming.  :)  We've had fun being asked about it for the last 2 weeks and sharing our crazy couple quirkiness but now we just look dirty. (Well Aaron does, I had to suffer through the dirty phase to stay in it.) On to Ragnar 2013 we look, yep we've got a team.  YAY!!!

Ragnar 2012

 Aaron and I ran Ragnar together!!!  It was surprisingly (to me) a FANTASTIC experience.

We were part of my brother Couper's team Aragnaphobia and Van 2. This is our van above from left to right-
Megan (yay! for a follow sister, we met race day and she's a sweetheart)
McKell (my sassy and very lovable cousin)
Georgia (One of my second mothers in life.  She's also an inspiration to me in everything she does she is one of the strongest, kindest and overall most amazing people I've ever known.)
Lisa (my visiting teaching companion and while we haven't been friends long, we are great friends)
Meg and Aaron (he nicknamed himself Daddy Long Legs and referred to us as his black widows -- goes with the team spider theme)

This is me trying not to freak out before my first leg, I was so nervous!

The heat this year was really tough, but we survived and all successfully completed our runs.  On that note, my midnight run in the middle of the moutains for my second leg (also my hardest leg) is on my list of life's greatest experiences.  It was incredibly fun once I started running, although the exchange was a nightmare.  I ran my best pace on this leg.  At the end there was an announcer who told me to run like there was someone right behind me even though there wasn't.  I sprinted in with a crowd that cheered at my enthusiasm and right into Aaron's arms.  Great moment!!! 

Aaron's note -- Meg seriously did awesome!  She took her nervousness and anxiety about her first Ragnar and (literally) ran with it!  I was super worried about her, but she proved that I didn't need to be worried.  As to the night runs, they are also my favorite part of Ragnar!  I got to do a 10 miler on a dirt trail at around 2 am.  All I could see was the five feet or so my headlamp illuminated in front of me and the faint red "butt lights" of the people in front of me.  It was a blast to pick off those red lights one by one, enjoy the nice cool weather, and enjoy the rare opportunity to do a 2am trail run!

Mother daughter exchange

Line for the Honey Bucket

 We tried to sleep in the middle of a soccer field.

 It didn't go well for most of us, me included.  I didn't get sleep until we went to Lisa's family cabin and they had breakfast and beds waiting for us... it was glorious!  Even then I only got 1.5 hours of sleeping in 48 hours. 

 Aaron climbing the first half of Ragnar hill, also know as "You Gotta Be Kidding Me".  He stayed right on his predicted pace.  Which is awesome considering the 85+ degree weather and high elevation (around 9,000 feet above sea level).

Aaron's note -- Kudos to whomever has successfully run the Ragnar hill (Guardsman Pass) without having to resort to walking.  That thing is a beast! I'm glad that I had the experience, though! Ragnar, someday I will own you!!

To put it in perspective, Ragnar hill starts down in that valley (Midway, UT), and this was taken almost at the top.

At the finish line! 

I have an IT band injury that I've been going to Physical Therapy for twice a week.  It's been an interesting experience, hopefully my therapist will "graduate" me soon.  Aaron graduated his physical therapy this week and is back full speed training for his two marathons later this year!  Good job, babe!

Aaron and I started a friendly competition to see who's Rag Tat lasts the longest.  He's at a major advantage because his is on his calf and mine is on my arm.  I'm gonna lose this one but I'll stay in until it's gone.  Sydney our dog keeps trying to lick it off. :)

Lastly, I've been going through something that has kept me away from the blog.  I hope it doesn't continue to keep me from posting and I can get back to it, but I've been doing most of my writing in a private journal.  I'm doing so much better than I was, my strength is returning, I know that Heavenly Father knows who I am, what has happened, He'll help me through it and He'll always strengthen me with His love as long as I turn to Him.  Please don't ask about it, it's private for now.

Remember I love you all so stinkin' much!  I hope you're well!!!

Grown Up

I'm really not smitten with the feeling.  Hopefully, it will pass but we're doing lots of grown up things theses days taking up lots of time.

1. car shopping our beloved Betsy passed away. Here's a copy of her obituary: Betsy Escort Gelter was pronounced dead this morning. She reached the ripe old age of 199,400 before she met her demise. She was a good and faithful car for 10 years to me and lovingly accepted Aaron after our marriage. She brought our family many happy and colorful memories. Today we were able to find hope for Betsy in the hand of a new owner who hopes to bring her new life in the form of a transmission transplant. Betsy you will always be remembered and deeply missed. RIP :'(
2.  meetings- for the kids, for church, for refinancing you name it there have been lots of them. 
3. 5 year- since we lost Daddy.
4. more car shopping-  For the last week every moment on the computer has been spent looking for a car that meets our requirements.  I decided to give myself a day off from the hunt, I'm ignoring the calls from all the sales men who are giving me their BEST price for the 3rd time and instead am trying to restore order to our home. 
5. illness-  Porter has been sick since his surgery.  As soon as we were through recovery he got a sinus infection, then a terrible virus.  Priya also got the virus.  It involved scary high fevers and blisters all over their skin.  They are on the mend and I'm keeping them home for the next week to try and build their immune systems back up.  I'm not very good at staying in, we'll see if I last.
6. Big decisions- I can't write about it here, but there was a very large decision we had to make.  There was tons of talking, prayer and options. 
7. Injury- I've never felt so bad for my husband as I did Saturday night when he walked back in the door 10 minutes after leaving for his nightly run.  He has been nursing an injury hoping it wouldn't get worse, but it seems he'll have to take some time off.  He's such a sad little boy.  He's devastated. :(
8. babies- (not an announcement)  they're everywhere right now.  tiny and new.  So many friends have had babies this month.  I've seriously thought about having another kid because it's a good year for friends and cousins.  Alas, not a good enough reason. 
9. mother's day- was a fail (the kid's were miserable) with the exception of the Beautiful Gerber arrangement Aaron sent me.  So we're rescheduling it.  
10. more car shopping- I made a sales man cry, well he was doing his best not to cry, but there were tears.  I feel like asking before I even talk to them, "Can we still be friends if I tell you "no"?  Because it's very likely I will."  Guess that's the name of the game. 

There is so much more I want to post about like my darling kids, but there just isn't time.  I can't even get pictures up today.  I'm sorry.  We're doing really well considering all that has been happening and I just wanted to say I haven't forgotten you little blog.  It's just not my season. 

Blather

Aaron calls this "White Trash" (but doesn't hesitate to join in).  Sure, it's not the most eye pleasing front porch furnishings, but I think it's a little slice of happy.  I should also add that I put a kiddy gate up to block off the stairs and trap the children, Aaron thinks that's really white trash, but I think it's practical.  Having my kids outside in the sunlight, breeze and fresh air just makes me happy all the way to my toes!  Not having to chase them away from our very busy street only adds to that feeling.

I know that I write honestly about the not-so-pretty moments of being a stay at home mom mother.  I like being honest.  I fear that some of that has been taken as negative feelings about being a mother.  To shed some light on my feelings about this and just to get it out I'm going to write about some of the struggling emotions I've had about Porter lately.

Porter is my first baby, he's also my child with special needs, he's my buddy through and through.  Porter is growing up on us and we have to make some rather heavy choices about his future right now.  We're going through hoops to get him in state funded preschool (because they have amazing resources available) and Tuesday was a complete roller-coaster ride for me and I felt like I was completely alone in my battle.  That's just silly of me.  There are lots of people invested in this process but they weren't available for different reasons, including Aaron.  At one point I just started crying, I couldn't hold it back I needed to let it out.  Porter does very well for a child with Down Syndrome, but he is developmentally delayed compared to a typical peer.  He's something of an anomaly and the state (and us) don't always know what to do with him.  We're currently fighting with the state because they are trying to tell us that he doesn't qualify for services because he's doing so well for a child with Down Syndrome -- he's still delayed so we believe he needs services!

Several months ago I called school after school searching for a private preschool that Porter could attend in addition to public preschool.  We final found a match and I felt good about it.  Well, we got his acceptance letter this week and I have been questioning my decision like crazy today.  "Is this really the right school for him?  I haven't prayed about this enough, am I missing the Lord's path for us?  Is this the right choice?"  Raising my children is something I consider a great privilege and honor.  I don't take the matter lightly, but I have zero experience with special needs and little to go off of so I feel like I'm just winging it.  There is good and bad to not knowing anything.  I have no preset expectations of "This is what you do", but at the same time I have no idea what I'm doing!  I remember looking my mother squarely in the eyes as she weeped with me at my hospital bedside after hearing Porter had Down Syndrome and telling her, "He is a blessing.  I want to do everything I can in my power to make his life good.  I am going to do everything I can for him."  I still have this feeling, but wonder, "Am I?"  Life takes on a normalcy and makes me comfortable with how things are going.  Now it's time for things to change and I'm questioning everything I've been doing...was it enough?  

I'm struggling with letting go of Porter.  12 to 15 hours of his weekday hours away from me.  Uhh... no thank you!  I love having my children with me.  That doesn't mean I don't need time away from them every once in a while, but I want to be with them.  I feel so strongly about this that I have seriously considered homeschooling our children.  It's an overwhelming thought, but not one I'm done considering yet.  I know that if things don't go in a way that I feel are beneficial I won't hesitate to pull him out and do school at home.  There is also this truth, though: Porter needs other people!  He responds well to other adults and learns a lot from them.  I don't want this time of life to end.  I don't want to put my baby on a bus to school.  I don't want to let go. :(  How did 3 come so quickly?  He'll be 5 before I know it and I'll have to let go every day.  

Along with these schooling decisions I think about what are the most important lessons we can teach our children.  Funny thing is that in my mind Academics don't make the top of that list for me.  Please do not mistake me.  Academics are very important, but I personally do not consider them the most important. 

• Love comes first.  This includes Love of- self, family, others, Our Savior and the gospel. 
• Respect
• Independence
• Communication- in a healthy and appropriate manner with all who are in our realm of life. 
• Listening- to directions, the spirit, your feelings. 

I put all of these things above academics skills.  Many of these can be learned while being in school programs but others I feel like need to be taught at home.  Like the gospel.  I think about my kids being at school all day and worry about how I'm going to fit adequate gospel study in there.  Oh and I forgot a big one on that list.

• FUN- my children already know how to do this, but I feel like it must be encouraged and reinforced.  I want them to know how to feel gratitude for all that they have, giggle in the moment and really feel alive with joy.  That's fun to me.

Sorry, to spend so much of this post blathering, but all this multiplied by 25 has been trapped in my head all day.  You can see how I'd be overwhelmed.  Having a child with special needs has made me challenge some of the things that society implanted in my thinking.  Like, "You can only be happy if you...do well in school... run faster than everyone else... are the best or dang close to it... have a career...get noticed..." etc.  I'm not saying Porter won't go to college or work successfully in a career, it's not for me to say.  But when you have to be okay with whatever your child may be and stop forcing that rubbish on them and yourself it's kind of liberating.  The simple truth is Porter will be what he will be.  The simple truth is that same is true for Priya.  We can guide them, teach them but ultimately they will determine WHO they will be.  They were (still are really) our spiritual Brother's and Sister's before they agreed to be my children.  They are their own spirits.  They just so graciously decided to let me be their mother here on earth.  Before Porter was born we had written in our Trust that our children could not inherit anything unless they had a college diploma or were 30 years old.  We haven't changed it, but I do challenge that thinking in myself often.  I don't think it's bad to question ourselves, but man I'm tired.

I sent this to Aaron it said, "I'm tired."

I do know this.  While I am overwhelmed and fearful I'm glad it's me.  I'm so grateful I'm Porter's mother and that I get to worry about him like this.  I'm grateful for every moment with my children.  You don't believe me, right?  Well, I am.  The good and the bad make all of us better.  I'm so glad they are mine.  Now ask them in 5 years and they probably won't be so grateful that they're mine, but I hope and pray I can do right by them.  It's a hard thing being a mother, but it's also such a Christlike experience that I believe Heavenly Father blesses mother like no one else.  

***Mom did answer her phone, so I really wasn't alone.  She got me through Special Education so she was very helpful. ***

Thinking of you!

I'm sorry I haven't posted lately.   We are BUSY and it just seems to be continuing.   We are in a time of transition and change.  Throw in a small surgery and recovery for Porter... well no time for details on the blog.  I hope to get to it soon.  In the meantime know I'm thinking of you, Grandmas (you're my truer than true readers).  p.s. I won't lie play time always trumps blogging.  We may be busy but we're also having a good time.